Gundam Wing Viruses
by tatsumaki
Summary: A brief parody revolving around main characters of Gundam Wing and computer virus traits I find amusing. Hints of pairings, but very general.


Gundam Wing Viruses

by tatsumaki and AaarikaaA

  
  


Official Author's Note (OAN): Well, here's a little piece written by me, tatsumaki, and my oh-so-lovely-but-oh-so-clueless sister AaarikaaA. I think I first saw this idea used in Rurouni Kenshin fanfiction, but I really can't remember where, or who wrote it. (If you know, please leave the information in a review!) So, I hope I'm not being unoriginal ... if you feel offended in any way, be sure to let me know, and I'll either apologize profusely or ignore you. (It depends on how I'm feeling.) Also, if anyone is feeling generous enough to give me tips on how to format documents for fanfiction.net using Corel WordPerfect (like telling me how to activate italics and bold font) I would be so grateful I might give you a cookie.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, but I wish I owned Duo's hair.

  
  


Heero Virus

So far research indicates that this Japanese virus comes in two forms. The first form threatens to kill your computer multiple times but never does anything, becoming redundant and annoying, all the while obviously pining over the Relena Virus. The second form places small self-destructing files throughout your computer while laughing maniacally, before escaping via the internet.

Duo Virus

Nicknamed "God of Deletion", this virus is far more formidable than it first seems. Once lodged in your hard drive, it will send messages to the Heero, Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei Virii, urging them to attack as well. The messages will be so annoying and be sent so frequently that eventually the other virii will respond, just so the Duo Virus will shut up. The Duo Virus will also create the folder "scythe_scythe_baby" and will proceed to move all .txt, .wpd, .art, and .bmp files to this location, and engage in mass deletions of data. The only way to appease the Duo Virus is to download "hilde.exe", preferably equipped with "scissors.jpg".

Trowa Virus

May remain in a computer impassive and undetected for many months before suddenly shutting down all programs currently running to download "untitled.exe" which downloads painstakingly slowly in about five days, boring the owner out of their mind. When the file is complete, it will blow up your monitor, whilst your speakers play a continuous loop of machine gun sound effects. The only way of neutralizing this Virus is by downloading Catherine Anti-Virus.

Quatre Virus

Sends you cheery pop-up messages about the importance of updating your virus protection while systematically deleting everything on your hard drive. If provoked by attempts to delete it, it will launch "deadfather.exe" which will obliterate your hard drive and everything else within 5 meters. The only known way of preventing this is faking the death of the Trowa Virus.

Wufei Virus

Upon entering your computer will instantaneously create file "deadwife_nataku.exe" which will insert "Die, Treize, die!" randomly throughout your text files, up to 20 times per page. It will continue to do so for an amount of time that is determined by how obsessed it is over the prospect of defeating the Treize Virus. Once the Wufei Virus has completed its tasks, it will rewrite the file "justice.exe" and from then on protect your computer. Of course not many people reach the final stage of the Wufei Virus, as they usually smash their computer in frustration a long time before the Virus runs its course.

Zechsilliardo Marquisecraft Virus

Enters your computer and deletes files at random or deletes viruses or both. It switches titles and names frequently and can't seem to decide whether it's destroying your computer or protecting it. This virus is confusing as hell, but some people don't mind it, as the audio file it comes with has a really sexy voice.

Treize Virus

Upon entering your computer it opens "evilscheme.exe" which downloads minion viruses from the internet to do its dirty work.

Lady Une Virus

Remains docile and harmless in your computer until the Treize Virus orders it into action, at which time it opens "weirdhair.exe" and runs the file "split_personality.wav", which will systematically destroy your hard drive just for the hell of it. However, once the Treize Virus is eradicated, "split_personality.wav" will self-destruct, and the Lady Une Virus will apologize and reconstruct your file system, vowing to protect it from future attacks.

Relena Virus

Placid by nature, this virus is content to sit quietly on your computer for quite a long time. It is only activated by contact with the Heero Virus, at which point it will emit a high-pitched squawk from your computer speakers, and pages and pages of meaningless code, effectively confusing the Heero Virus long enough for the Relena Virus to murmur "Heeeeeero ..." in hushed tones before the Heero Virus recovers enough to run away.

  
  


Questions? Comments? Flames? Food?

I accept them all. Just push the little button below to leave a review.


End file.
